Letter to Jonnie Walker

When I was a teeny-weeny under-graduate guy, I was noted for my idiotic buffoon-like behavior among my fellow students. I was an above average student in terms of studies and had not tried my skill publicly in extra-curricular activities. I was in my first year and it was the time when the University just had made some ameliorative changes in the syllabus. Our English lessons had changed from mere literature books towards a more liberal method giving the students a lot of practical comprehension opportunities. The new method seemed simpler and more effective than the previous method of committing the short answers and essays to memory and barfing the exact phrases given in the text books to the answer sheets. Similarly in all subjects, the University introduced individual seminars and assignments for the students. I still recall, the seminars were the most glamorous item of the university’s innovative changes. Our English classes were taken for a combined class of Mathematics and Physics students. Majority of the students were girls who occupied the two rows of benches of the total three and we boys satisfied with a single row. Anyway, some notable and famous boys of the college like Mahesh, Tony, Georgekutty and Iqbal were the centre of attraction of the class and I already was a close friend of them as I was a Mathematics boy just like them as well. I believe that my crackbrained nature and the teenage-common insanity too had made me a close friend of these guys. Well, on this day we were being lectured by our English lecture, who was actually my father’s first cousin. He took a passage, which was aimed to train the students on how to write formal as well as informal letters on occasions. We were asked to write an imaginary letter to our friends – real or invented – who might have studied with us or might have met in some occasions or whatever. Everybody started writing and I too have started by addressing with ‘Dear…’ Then I stopped as I had not fixed my mind concerning to whom my letter ought to be addressed. You should remember that I was in an age, which is regarded as ‘the period of stress and strain, storm and strife’ and ‘the period of temporary insanity’. (Please forgive me for my Plagiarism, for I don’t remember who actually had coined these beautiful definitions of teenage). I glanced Mahesh’s book and I found that he was addressing his letter to his childhood friend Ani. Georgekutty’s friend was one of his relative and Tony wrote his letter to Mahesh himself. When I tried to look at Iqbal’s book he challenged me with a sharp look and covered the writings with his hand. Anyway I peeped through the clefts of his fist and found that his letter was addressed to the most famous girl of the college, who had got all boys of that college as her secret admirers (except me! :D).

But I thought again, and no names of my childhood friends were satisfactory to be displayed on my letter. Suddenly I stuck with a name. The name was Jonnie Walker. I knew this name as the name of a character, which was successfully enacted by the Malayalam actor Mammootty. The name of the film too was the same, Jonnie Walker. Only later, I came to know that Jonnie Walker as a best brand of liquors. Anyway I fixed Jonnie Walker as my best friend and I addressed my letter to him, though the name is not a common name in Kerala, and above all if someone name there children with the word ‘Walker’, it could be looked upon as ‘queer’.

Well, after finishing the letter (the content of the letter too was funny and I will tell you it in another story) our lecturer collected our books for evaluation. After spending some time on a few of letters, he began to return the books to us back by calling each student’s name. Suddenly he asked, “Who is Tom?” I stood up and looked at my lecturer pretending that I was afraid of him. Everybody’s attention fell on me. “Sir, I am” “Is your friend’s name is Jonnie Walker?” The entire class turned into a loud roaring of laughter. I just smiled and looked every one in the class in a majestic manner as if they were my subjects and I was the King. Because, I felt that I had done a heroic blunder, which was impossible for the majority of the class. The uproar of the class irritated my teacher. He said, “Ok, you can be smart. But don’t try to be comic beyond a limit” Everybody stopped laughing. The smile on my face changed and an embarrassed grin came into its place. I really hoped, if there was a chasm on the ground below my feet, I could go to the depths to escape from the humiliation. Watching the slight coloration on my face, my teacher did not disturb me more. He permitted me to sit. So, that’s the history of my letter to Jonnie Walker. Photo: Actor Mammootty in a function Courtesy: Mammootty.com